Permanent
by enitsirk
Summary: One morning, Mr. Lupin is awoken by the cry of his son. Now, in the hospital, he realizes how much his son's life has changed and the people who will never be in it. But Mr. Lupin knows the one person who will always be in his son's life.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, they are the property of JK Rowling. I also do not own these lyrics. They are from the song "Permanent" by David Cook.

Permanent

It had been the early hours of the morning, just one week after his son's fifth birthday, when Mr. Lupin awoke to the life-shattering cry that could only belong to his son. Mr. Lupin leapt from his bed and, in his haste, slipped onto the wooden floor, tangled in his blankets. Cursing under his breath, having no need for such trivial disruptions such as this, he untangled himself and dashed across the hallway to his son's bedroom. Perhaps Remus had just had a nightmare, that was what the foolish, unthinking voice in the back of his mind told him. But Remus wasn't there. His bed was empty and looked as if it had been empty for an hour, at the least.

Mr. Lupin's heart stopped, his breath caught in his throat as he realized the cry he had heard did not come from the inside of their small house on the edge of the forest. The cry came from outside. Hurrying down the stairs, bolting out the front door, Mr. Lupin stood on the porch in his bare feet. The fading full moon was still visible in the lightening sky. _No…_ Almost at once, a conversation that had taken place a week ago, on his son's birthday, flashed into his memory. Greyback said he would pay, said he would never wish he had said what he said. _No!_

By the time Mr. Lupin found his son, it was too late. The damage had been made and Greyback had won. All he could do now was to tell Remus what happened… tell him what he had become.

_Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?  
__Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry  
__And everything it will surely change  
__Even if I tell you I won't go away today_

As Mr. Lupin sat in the hospital room in St. Mungo's, he watched his son's still form. Remus's face was sickly green, black circles around his closed eyes, the bloody bandage wrapped around his small, fragile left arm. He was doing everything within his power to remain calm; he had to be brave for Remus. What would his boy think if he saw his father fall to pieces right before his eyes? He would understand the gravity of the situation; he would truly understand what he had become.

Even if Remus would understand what happened to him by seeing his father's uncontrollable tears, Mr. Lupin would not cry in front of his son. He needed to be strong, so Remus would see that he had to be as well. His life had changed forever, there was no going back. There was no cure. Mr. Lupin didn't know what to do… He knew he had to be there for Remus, he could never abandon him. But he didn't know how to raise a son who had this horrible affliction. He hardly knew how to raise Remus after his mother died; he was just one person… But he couldn't leave him.

His wife wouldn't want that.

_Will you think that you're all alone?  
__When no one's there to hold your hand?  
__When all you know seems so far away  
__And everything is temporary, rest your head  
__I'm permanent_

There would be no one who would put up with what his boy had become. He would have to pull Remus out of the Muggle school he had started just last September. He couldn't risk it, he couldn't risk the possibility that something might happen. Remus might slip, might let out the nature of his condition if someone asked him why he was so sickly. Remus was such an honest boy, always felt compelled to tell the truth. Mr. Lupin knew he had to take Remus out before that happened. They would have to move…

Hogwarts was out of the question. No headmaster in his right mind would allow such a thing into the castle, no matter how much the person deserved it. Remus wouldn't have the opportunity to learn how to transfigure a piece of hay into a needle or blow up his first potion or learn to fly a broom for the first time. He wouldn't have the chance to make the greatest friends of his life, friends who would stay with him throughout those seven years in the castle. His entire world had been turned upside and he wasn't even awake to know it.

_I know he's living in hell every single day  
__And so I ask  
_'_Oh God is there some way for me to take his place?'  
__And when they say it's so touch and go  
__I wish I could make it go away_

Why Remus? That was all Mr. Lupin could think. Why did Greyback have to go after his son? Remus was all Mr. Lupin had left to live for. His wife was gone before her time, before she could get to know the joy that was the little boy she had brought into the world. Remus was who he had to live for. He wanted to make his son happy; he wanted to give his son everything the world had to offer. All because of Greyback, Mr. Lupin would never be able to give his son that wonderful life he had planned for him.

If he had it his way, he would trade places with his son. He would have put himself out in the forest last night and put Remus safe in his bed, asleep and oblivious to the world around him. If Greyback had wanted to go after someone, it shouldn't have been a five year old boy. Remus hadn't done anything. But Greyback knew where it would hit hardest – go after the one person left in the world that Mr. Lupin still loved. The man had no other family; he was estranged from his parents and siblings after he decided to marry a Muggle.

Go after his son and show him what happened when you defied Fenrir Greyback.

_But still you say will you think that you're all alone?  
__When no one's there to hold your hand?  
__When all you know seems so far away  
__And everything is temporary, rest your head  
__I'm permanent  
__I'm permanent_

Mr. Lupin didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted to take it all away; he wanted to do anything that would take the pain away from his son. He would do anything he could. He would travel all over the world in search of a cure. He would pay any amount of money to give his son the life he should have had. But he knew it would all be for nothing. Remus would never be normal. He would never have friends who would understand him, friends who would accept him for what he was.

But there was one person Remus would have. He would have his father. Mr. Lupin knew how many parents would abandon their children the moment the werewolf sunk his teeth through the skin, contaminated the child's bloodstream. Mr. Lupin wasn't going to be one of them. He was going to be there… he was going to be there every morning of his son's life. When the full moon came, he would be there the next morning, ready to make his son feel better. He would never abandon him. He would always be there for his son.

Mr. Lupin started forward when he saw his son's eyelids slowly flutter open. There was a dazed, confused look to them. When he found his father, the small sound he was able to manage was enough to break Mr. Lupin's heart.

Taking a shuddering breath, Mr. Lupin sat down beside his son's bed. It was time. "I… I need to tell you something, Remus."

_Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?  
__Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry_


End file.
